If I Lived in 1492, I'd Be Dead

Alternate title: "I Didn't Go to Work This Week"

I decided it would be more fun to get appendicitis and have emergency surgery.

And I've gotta say...whoo boy, it totally was. I highly, highly recommend the appendicitis. It is the most exquisite illness in the world. Serious enough to get yourself a nice, long, guilt-free vacation from work; not so serious that your life is really in any appreciable danger.

It was all a very weird experience. I've never really been sick in my life – I usually don't even get colds (something I chalk up to my OCD-inspired hand washing, but hey, whatever works). Lately, though, I think I've just been working so hard and getting so little sleep that it's like my immune system just suddenly crumbled. I had the plague (well, okay, a bad cold), and then immediately after that I had this. I think my body just finally demanded a nice little break.

So, this was my first time in the hospital. I may not have mentioned it before, but I have doctor phobia. As a result, it took a lot before I finally worked up the courage to go to the ER. After all that, though, I think my phobia may be cured. I really loved the hospital. I mean, it was the most fabulous resort experience I've had in a while.

I'm all set to go on many many more visits to doctors. I believe, in fact, that I shall develop hypochondria, since this has all been so enjoyable. Doctors were great, hospital was great, pain medication was great (lest you think otherwise, I should point out that, in the interest of preserving my supply of hard-earned painkillers as long as possible, I have not taken any today). And week off work – beautiful!

I will probably go back to work next week, though maybe not Monday...will have to see how I feel.

The only downside is that this means the unfortunate demise of my 15th century counterpart. Am I the only one who plays that game? Basically, the question is, "Would I still be alive in a time before modern medicine?" No fair considering probable realities like death from a now-inoculable disease like scarlet fever or dying in childbirth at 15 or being trampled to death by a jousting-enraged horse. It has to be based purely on what happens to you today.

I think I had a pretty good run, but alas, surely the appendicitis would have done me in. R.I.P., medieval me.