I Will Live to Blog Another Day

Finally managed to get my test results. It is very confusing, providing lots of abbreviations and cryptic numbers and the normal range for each item. One level was really high over "normal," red-flagged even. Decided was dying. Set out onto Internet to determine meaning of the I'm-dying abbreviation.

Turns out that "HDL" = "good cholesterol," and having a really high number over the normal range = I shall live forever. Hooray!