TV or Not TV
Converts to a faith are usually the most extreme. Perhaps you've met one of the most noxious varieties: members of the Church of No TV.
They're not hard to spot. All it takes is someone's mention of something he or she saw on TV recently. The no-TVer may be all the way on the other side of the room, but their ears are ever-attuned to seek the utterance of those fatal words. At this point, they're certain to zip their way over so they can declare their faith to all, out loud and proud: "TV? Hmph. I don't watch TV!"
Then they'll proceed to regale you with tales of all the Far More Fulfilling things they do, such as a) the watching of very important movies (very important movies are usually in Farsi with French subtitles, shot entirely in black and white, and instead of actors they feature brooms with glued-on smileys for faces), b) the attending of very important cultural events, and c) the having of a life that is so very important and busy (read: better than yours) that they couldn't imagine even having time to watch TV!
And of course they don't miss TV, because TV is a vast wasteland with absolutely no redeeming social value. Everything on it is horrible. It's all fat misogynists telling bathroom jokes and blond twentysomethings eating worms, and the no-TVer is so evolved, such a sophisticate, that it's all beneath them.
Blah. I advise edging away slowly at this point. It's not just that the no-TVer doesn't watch TV, because whatever.
It's that this type of no-TVer is so eager to pass judgment on the fact that you watch TV. It's that they dismiss your chosen form of entertainment as so much dreck. It's that they appear to believe they are better than something like 99% of the people in this country. And it's that they just can't frigging shut up about how they don't watch TV – as evidenced by their need to shoehorn that observation into every conversation they possibly can, no matter how awkward.
I think they think it makes them look cultured. They're so suave, so artistically inclined, why, they need more to engage their minds.
Which is funny, because in a lot of ways they can appear a little culturally blind – incapable of engaging in everyday conversation that inevitably delves into matters of pop culture.
I guess I take it personally. I think TV is great. I think trashy TV is a lot of fun to watch – it's been so incredibly relaxing these last few weeks.
But more than that, man, those people are missing out. How can they think there's nothing artistically and aesthetically redeeming about TV? Don't they get it? It's not all Fear Factor and Standard Sitcom #422. There are TV shows that are so wonderfully textured, so entertaining, and so well-written, it's hard to find a movie that compares.
My current favorite is Lost. It's amazing. The way the plots interweave, the way each episode grabs you and leaves you wanting more, the way the characters grow and change and are painted so richly.
In that respect, it reminds me of a show that really separates out the TV haves from have-nots (as in, those who have gotten it and those who haven't): Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I watched some repeats recently on cable (oh, brand new cable, how I love you so), and I was blown away again at how incredible it was. Yet so few people watched it. I think they were put off by the name (dumb), the movie (dumber), the cheesy special effects and monsters (they improved over time), or maybe even some of the low spots – see season 4. Too bad for them.
