A Hairy Situation

You probably don't want to read this if you're male.

In typical fashion, after months of discussing it and obsessing over it and analyzing all possible aspects of it and driving everyone crazy over it...I decided to go and get laser hair removal.

Please don't judge me. I know this is the kind of thing that people with too much money do to slightly reduce the overwhelming burden of hauling around all that money. But I...y'know...really wanted to do it.

Anyway, I think it's awesome. I was horrified/saddened to discover that it's not one-zap-hey-you're-done, but that apparently it takes six or more sessions spread out at eight-week intervals. Dudes, that takes me into frigging 2009, potentially. I will not need to shave my legs by then anyway because we will all be wearing space suits and zipping around in our flying cars. On Mars. With bionic bodies that don't grow hair anyway.

I still think it's cool, though. There's really only one downside. It's kind of like when I'm at my ideal weight, instead of feeling happy about myself and pretty and confident, I suddenly find new things about myself that I don't like. Maybe it's good to just feel fat if it means I don't spend time worrying about my nose. Well, now I've discovered new areas that really should be hairless. As in, pretty much everywhere that isn't on my head or the pre-approved, expertly shaped eyebrow region.

This led to me pondering the sociological ramifications of Western women's obsession with hair removal. I'm all deep like that. How strange that what we're striving for is, essentially, to make our bodies look more like children's. Really sick, that.

I have at least one dear friend who proudly proclaims her freedom from shaving and embraces all that results therefrom. However, said friend is a big ol' hippie who lives in Hippie-Land, and her hippie husband is perhaps even more enthusiastic about her liberation than she is. How nice for them.

So, I contemplated all of this. For five seconds. And then signed up for the platinum package. Hair-free in 2010, baby!!