Why Didn't Someone Tell Me Sooner?

Planning My Escape

Psst...who's with me? Mission: avoid the bar. Destination: right about here.

No TV and No Beer Make Homer...

BarBri sucks, this much is true. But GEEZ it's lonely sitting here studying by myself all day and night! I feel kind of cut off from the world. Both in a personal sense and more generally...I'm usually big into current events, and I feel like I don't have a clue what's going on in the world. What's this with Israel? Normally I'd be glued to CNN.

But it's just a little over two weeks more. I'll be fine; that's doable. Doesn't mean I don't feel like whining about it.

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Who all is staying at the hotel that's the closest to the local bar site? I was thinking I'd hole up in my room all evening long studying (I will have a snazzy room with a refrigerator so I don't have to go out), but now I'm thinking it might be fun to take at least an hour or so to have dinner with other people. Even if that means just ordering a pizza or something.

MB-Me? Yeah, well, MB-YOU!

I don't know what that means either.

Why is it that I keep getting the exact same percentage correct as I did on the simulated MBE, despite having done all kinds of studying in between?

PMBR Sucks

Dear PMBR:

The possessive form of "it" is "its." Not "it's." The fact that you seem to be incapable of getting something so simple right makes me suspect that everything you say is wrong.

Sincerely,
A Dissatisfied (Non-)Customer.

(I still [heart] the person who gave me her PMBR stuff from last year. That doesn't mean I don't have standards.)

Oh. My. GAWD!

Hello, yes, WIDE AWAKE over here.

I have come to tell you about something very exciting going on in my life. I have had an experience. An epiphany. An awakening! No longer is the world a dark and gloomy place! I AM BORN AGAIN, MY FRIENDS!

You see, it all started lo those many minutes ago. Jocelyn mentioned on her blog her deep and abiding passion for the Conviser Mini Review.

Pshaw! scoffed I, blind to that which I was not yet ready to comprehend. I had seen this thing once, this "Conviser," and it was very long with tiny print and very bad, very bad indeed. I was not about to be led astray.

But for some reason...who knows, some aligning of the stars, kismet, fate! I had to admit some curiosity. It couldn't hurt to look, could it, to see what could be so grand?

I pulled out the book...and I discovered that what I had thought was the Conviser all along was instead the LONG outline book! Oh, verily what a fool was I!

Nay, my friends, the Conviser is indeed the most glorious book of all! I am saved, hurrah!!!

(And I guess I can rescind that hit I took out on professor-who-shall-go-unnamed...He Who Creates Insane Incomprehensible Lecture Handouts for Trusts and Wills and Estate Administration and Family Law and Estate Tax and Guardianship.)

Numerical Soup

All of these time periods are killing me. How important do you really think it is to bring it up in a problem that doesn't specifically ask, say, "How long does the defendant have to file his answer?"

I'm studying estate administration right now, if it matters. All of this "secured creditors must file w/in 6 mos from date of personal representative's appointment OR within 4 mos after receipt of personal notice," but "unsecured creditors must file an authenticated claim within 30 days if it's a dependent administration, but if blahblahblahblahblah." And every little thing has multiple time periods like that.

Does anybody actually remember minute details like that? Surely I will pass even if I don't. Right? Right? Someone? Anyone? Hellooooo?

But Wait, There's More

I thought of another reason BarBri sucks. WHY does their full-time study schedule start TODAY, when they are selling a class that runs until 4 p.m. today and tomorrow? I can understand that they won't factor in the 3-day PMBR (which I'm not taking), but their own P&E workshop? Why? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??????

Now I shall fail the bar because I did not spend the day "reviewing notes and handouts in subjects I feel uncomfortable with." (I.e., all subjects.)

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My favorite would have to be the schedule for the afternoon of Jul. 17. "Review Bankruptcy, Consumer Rights, Guardianship, Tax, and Trusts lecture notes and outline answers to Consumer Rights and Trusts questions." Uh, yeah, that will only take me five weeks.

High Anxiiiiiety

Not much to say about the Procedure & Evidence workshop today. It sucked, BarBri sucks, what else is new? I have no opinions yet as to whether or not the workshop is useful; come see me in November.

I will say this much. Person Who Sat Next to Me, no one cares that you were ON LAW REVIEW!!!! There is no need to TALK ABOUT IT REALLY LOUDLY!!!! Nobody is thinking, "Wow, that person must have been like toooootally smart! I am all intimidated now!" Instead we are thinking that you are a tool.

Second, Person Who Sat Next to Me, go ahead, keep encroaching on my space tomorrow. Every inch you scootch your chair toward mine brings you that much closer to me BITING YOU!

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Ahem. Sounds like a lot of people are experiencing good old test anxiety dreams. I've rarely had the standard ones, you know, where you're sitting there taking the test and you didn't study, or you oversleep, or you don't know the answers, and so on.

But I do have this recurring dream that pops up whenever I'm stressed. It includes some standard themes: trying desperately to organize things, running around trying to complete tasks when there's not enough time, having the big day arrive and not being ready.

Except the thing is...I'm trying to get ready for Halloween. I need to buy a costume. I need to buy candy. I need to decorate the house. Everything is difficult, and by the end I've accomplished nothing and the Halloween hours are dwindling away and it's all just so upsetting!

I don't know what to say about that. You would think Halloween is my major holiday of the year (ah yes, must pave the way for the coming of the Dark Prince and his unholy reign!). But I don't dress up, I don't have kids to take trick-or-treating, and little kids who want candy from me can kiss my ass if I forget to buy it (read: if I eat it all before they arrive).

So who knows why my subconscious chooses to reflect my fears this way.

Gotta Have Friends

I stopped by tonight to see some friends. "Where ya been?" they chorused.

I laughed and, trying to keep the mood light, made some joke about the bar exam.

"We've missed you," said one of my friends, and I began to realize that the atmosphere was a bit strained.

"I'm sorry," I said, and tried to explain. "I've been busy."

"It's been months," they said. "We always liked it when you'd come around with your other friends. Didn't we have fun?"

I realized it was true. While we had on occasion spent time together, just them and me, we had the most fun when I brought other friends. I loved introducing new people to them. "We did," I said. "And we will again. Just as soon as the bar is over."

"We have other friends, you know," said one friend. I nodded, ashamed.

"Lots of LAWYER friends," piped up another. "Lawyers are some of our BEST friends."

"Oh," I replied. "I didn't realize." No one responded.

The silence lengthened, grew uncomfortable.

"Look," said one of my friends, "maybe you should go."

"O-okay," I said, and headed for the door. Then I stopped and turned back. "Do you mind," I began, hating the quaver in my voice, "if I take a picture, something I can look at to remember better times while I'm studying?"

A derisive snort was my only response. Taking that as consent, I snapped a picture. Then I walked out the door.

Wouldn't you like to meet my friends?